I stayed home, due to depression, I miss Alison so much. I had lunch with her today, my sister called, and I had to leave. I didnt get in trouble, which I am sure Alison was expecting, even though they knew exactly what I had done. They were just upset cause I had lied to them, telling them I went for a walk to clear my head. If I would have told them the truth they said they wouldnt have been upset. So I felt guilty all day for lying. Then, I couldnt find my book till about 5:40, when I finally found it, I sat down to study it, and I couldnt even get the first paragraph done, the paragraph completely had me confused. I then prayed for help to concentrate, and I just started to cry, then I fell asleep. Grandma came in about 6:45 and checked on me, saw me asleep, she tried talking me into going to the meeting, but I couldnt go, I couldnt let anyone see me crying. I knew if i went I would cry, and I knew I would prolly have to do the MICs, and I knew I couldnt do that, my mind was everywhere.
So Grandma and I read a little from the bible, it helped calm me down a little bit. We read Psalms 1 & 2, then Proverbs 18:1 at this point I was ready to go to the meeting, but I looked at the clock, and it said 7:10, I knew I couldnt get dressed, shave, brush my teeth, and still get there, anywhere close to on time. I would have only made it for 15 min of the meeting or so.
So we decided to watch a movie together, just to get my mind off of things, and to keep me from going to sleep (as I have a terrible habit of doing when I am depressed), and then waking up in the middle of the night bored.
We started Iron Monkey, until mom and sis got home from grocery shopping. Then grandma went to finish the movie they were watching Save the Last Dance. And I came up here to write this entry.
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