Well I just found out that Jen has known I liked Jayna since the begining today. She told me about it. I also found out today that a guy asked Amy's dad if he could date Amy. But Ron said no. Im hoping Amy isnt too hurt by it. Ill find out Saturday when I spend all day w/ Amy, Robert, and Jen. Going out in service, then car shoping, then were ending the day with a Hockey game.

One thing I really love about chatting w/ Jayna is that she is a good roleplayer. Shes telling me about in a chat w/ some of her friends from school, that 2 of her friends just said that her and another guy were married, and so they have been roleplaying this for a while. In the Roleplay she just found out today that her Hubby was cheating on her, so Shes devorcing him, and taking the Kids, and the ring.

I started to roleplay along w/ her that if she ever needs any help w/ the kids to call me.. I love kids, and Im good at keeping them entertained. And I can relate to the kids, (just like Jayna can) about having a rotten father. Thus I could help the kids alot. :)

Interesting Thought

hmm..

Jayna just told me that if im not taken when shes 27 (ill be 29), she may think about me as a prospect for marraige. thats 4 years after I plan to start looking, hmm.. in that case there is a chance yet.. tho.. I doubt she will still be single by that time.

hmm.. so lets see what year will that be? She will turn 27 Sept of 2013.

hmm.. interesting.. ten years.. technicly 10 and a half years.. but who cares about details.. :P

Ill prolly never stop loving her like I do.. but at least I can function w/out her.. I did go 72 hours sofar w/out her and I am still sane. This should be easy enough.

Service...?!?!?!?

Went out inservice this morning, went out w/ Amy (19), Jen Z. (20), and Jen M (22). We were on our way to the first call when Amy's car started making aloud noise, like it was dragging something. The exhaust pipe broke, and was dragging. that was at like 9:30 or so, Me and Jen Z. had our cells, so I let Jen M barrow my cell and call her dad, so he could come and help us w/ the car, he drove us to Amy's house where we picked up tools so he could work on it. Then we went back to the car, he worked on the car, got it fixed via Coat Hanger.

Then he took us back to Amy's house around 11:30, and Amy drove us to pick up Jen M's Car, we went back to Amy's to drop off her car (Since it was only a quick fix) and we all went in Jen M's car. Then we decided to go have lunch, since Jen M. was starving. We went about 15 min away down the back roads to get to Cracker Barrel. I can officially say, I prefer IHOP's Biscuits and Gravy to Cracker Barrel.

We were done eating around 12:45 or so.. Interesting morning.. Started out as service, but ended up being another occation w/ the Girls that I'll never forget about.

Well first time in a long time I successfully slept w/out dreaming. Interesting feeling. Tho I did wake up at 5:30AM due to Excessive Warmth in my room.. Hasta be around 80-90 degrees in my room. I need to get a thermometer for my room so I can know.

I am so tired, and I've only been up since 6:00AM I need sleep, I need sleep in a cool place.

I think I hit a permenate state of sadness / Depression, nothing I try is cheering me up for longer than an hour. I hate feeling this way. its just weird.

"Jayna Free Diet"

No I know Im way past obsessed. and on the brink of reaching the point of no return, if I havent already hit that point already that is.

I really dont get it.. why is it that I think about her during everything. I watched the movie "How to lose a guy in 10 days" very cute movie, and the funniest thing Ive seens in a long time, cutest thing since Kate and Leopold too.. I really enjoyed everything about the movie. Very little if anything actually upset me. There was a song in it that really hit home.. "Feels Like Home" it was a great song. and it kinda reminded me of how I oddly felt right at home when I was I spent the weekend at Jayna's. Eventhough I didnt know her, some how I felt at home, like I was w/ family. Yeah, maybe she was family of my bestfriends Girlfriend who I felt pretty close too by then.. but still how was it that I felt at home w/ them.. A year ago I sat behind the family at an Assembly, and thought to myself who are these ppl, and that was when I got my first glimpse at how bad Jarred can really be. I had no idea they were related to Jen, till mid session when Jen came over and sat w/ them along w/ Robert.

Wait a min.. how do I rem this.. I barely rem things that happen yesterday.. yet somehow.. I rem that so vividly.. I didnt know Jayna, I didnt even know who she was.. She was just a girl I saw.. (BTW.. I rem she had a skirt on that needed to be just a bit longer)

Oh well.. Ill never know how my mind works.

I almost cried on the way home thinking about the fact that I wont get to talk to my hun til sunday night.. maybe Monday.. this is VERY upsetting. I know shes just a friend, and It will prolly never go beyond that. But man... I would love it if someday in the future we ended up being together. it would make everything just feel.. I dont know.. Perfect.

I need to find something else to occupy my time this weekend to keep me from thinking about her. I think Im gonna work on my website alot, so if Im not online, you know why.. its cause Im working on my site (For Once) and or watching The Tuxedo with Jackie Chan, (I get DVDs released on Tuesday, the Friday before hand, this tuesdays lineup is:

Tuck Everlasting
Road to Perdition (Sp?)
The Tuxedo (PG-13)
RoboCop: Dark Justice (R)

Officially Freaked out

OK.. Now im freaked.. I had a dream last night that I drove, and went to an area around Pittsburgh too see my Best Friends Cousin..

Why in the world would I go see her? I dont get it. I just stopped by, and some how knew where she lived, knocked on her door, and she answered, she was the only one home, she let me in and we talked for a while.. (what about I dont know.. but we talked for a while..)

I dont get it.. I may talk to her occationaly online. but why would I go see her.. oh well.. life goes on..

Snowed in...

Mystery Man Revealed.....

Today Jayna told me who the guy was she likes.. It was who I thought all along.. Odd how I had a feeling, almost as if I could sence it.. Its Josh if you look at my NYC pics you will see who Josh is.

She said today that the reason why she likes him is cause he took time to invite her places, and meet alot of the ppl she now is good friends w/

Im one of the few that she cares about that hes not responsible for introducing to her.

I've known that he was my major competition since I first liked Jayna. But now I know hes the ONLY competition, and he currently has the ball.. lol

Tho I dont know if he likes her or not.

Oh well.. if they do get together in the far-off future, Ill support Jaynas decision, cause they would make a cute couple. I also know that he would treat her very well.

She knows I will support her in anything she does, even if it kills me inside. Which is a good thing I guess.

ok.. well thats enough for today.. maybe..

Tears, Tears, and More Tears?

OK, Im startin to freak now.. I dont think Ive ever had it this bad.

I was talkin to my sis on the drive to see Chicago yesterday. It came up about Jayna, and then I told sis about how she has many really good guy friends that wont go beyond a friendship, but there is one that she would like to go further. Sis felt really bad for me, just like AJ did when I told him. But when she said that sucks, and how it seemed she was leading me on by saying I luv ya, and calling me hun and all.. I started to think about her, and first my heart started to ache, and I silently started to cry.. then my eyes started to water.. but what made me really crack was when the song "Everything I do.. I do It for You" by Brady came on, that hit the nail on the head.

The version of "Everything I do" by Bryan Adams is the song Jayna wants at her wedding reception. thats why tears flowed down my face. I couldnt beleive it.

Well I got it together before we reached the theater. we watched Chicago, It sucked in my opinion.. it was ok, but it sucked lol

Well i gtg now.. Need sleep, and I deliver papers in 5 hours. Night

Snow Tubing

Well Jayna sent me these pics the other day from the Snow Tubing trip I took w/ them on the 3rd. So here we go.. (There are alot more, but she only sent me these 2)

Heres a pic of Diana, Brielle, Jayna, Me, Austin, and Jason. I kinda feel like an outcast, cause Jaynas the only person I know here, and the only other person I've ever talked to, or even met before, is Jason.


Heres a pic of Jayna all dressed for Winter..

Flowers?!?!?!?!

Guess what.. I was actually looking at 1-800-Flowers website today..

I actually wanted to get the flowers to send to Jayna Friday or Saturday. ("Our 2-day Long 2 month Aniversary" as we call it) But I missed it.. Tho I dont think we could have had a better aniversary than watchin signs together..

This is the Arrangement I thought about:

Skating Party

Yesterday, was the skating party. It started at 6:15PM or so. Jayna was still sick w/ the cold, she was skating most of the night, but she had to take a few breathers. We talked some.. but I felt like I was following her mostly. Sometimes its that way.. she has ALOT of friends, but sometimes shes just skating by herself, I come and skate w/ her then, its kinda like the song Breathing by Lifehouse "even if you dont wanna speak tonight, Thats alright, I just wanna stand outside heaven's door and listen to you breathing" we dont have to speak. I just enjoy being around her, even if were not talking (We talk enough for 10 visits everynight online :P)

After skating was over (around 6:15PM), we went and had Pizza at Pizza Hut, There were alot of ppl there. (All in our group) I knew only a few. I sat next to Kendra (I think it was her name at least), One of Roberts Cousins (I think), Sat across from Robert, and Jen, and Jayna sat next to robert (so she was diagonal from me)

Me, Jen, and Robert all went together on a Large Pizza, each of us picked one topping to make a single pizza.

Jen = Chicken
Robert = Pepperoni
Me = Sausage

It was an interesting combo.. but it was pretty good.

When the night was over Jayna and her family dropped me off, and I got the usuall good night Hug from her. (I love getting hugs from her.) This was around 8:30PM

Talked to her online when My sister finaly got done w/ her homework at 10:30PM we talked until around 11:00 when both of us had to go to sleep (her cause she was sick, and me cause I was exhausted)

Saturday Night..

On Saturday, I talked to Jayna online like normal, she told me they might be comming to pottsville to shop. So she suggested that if possible, they may stop by so we could finally watch signs together. We both have seen it before. (I had just bought the DVD on Friday.) So it worked out, she came down, our moms talked while we watched the movie in my room. We sat on my bed while watching it, w/ the lights out, with surround sound. I was enjoying myself w/ her company, (Her annoying bro was there too, but he was sitting on my Recliner at the time.) She reached down and held my hand when she got scared. First time it was for about 5 min.. but about 10 min later, she grabed my hand again.. Both time it was more of a friendly "Hold me Im scared" thing.. but she didnt let go on the 2nd one.. she held my hand till the end of the movie (about 45 min or so.. maybe longer) but Im not sure which of us started it, but we went from just her grabbing my hand to clenched hands, interlocked. It was very comforting.. but I could feel my heart beating in my chest so hard at the time. Not sure if it was the movie.. or holding hands. I could feel her heart beating in her hand as well. Our heart beats were abour 3 seconds apart from each other.. same speed, just 3 secs apart. A few times while watching the movie I noticed me and her were in exact mirrored possitions, legs streched out, one foot crossing over the other. About half way through the movie, Jayna invited her bro to join us on the bed, she scooted closer to me, we had about 4 inches between us, which our clasped hands took up that space. w/ her other hand, she held her bro closely. (They actually were showing that they loved each other as bro and sis, They normaly are beating eachother up, It was quite unusuall.. Too bad he wouldnt behave like he did during the movie more often.) Every time I think were just friends and thats all its gonna be, she gives me a hint that she wouldnt mind it going further (Such as the hand holding) but I need to keep it as a friendship till im absoultly certain, at least until shes older. So she can be sure of her feelings..