Its been a while since my last entry. Today I was switched out of Mr. Shrockmans class no i'm in a precalc class all the same ppl different teacher, Mr. VanHorn. the teacher requires a notebook, Journal, and Log... WHAT A DRAG!
Class consists of:
Amanda Bosco
Darryl Kintzel (NO NECK, DIRT FARMER, ETC.)
Dan Golden
Evan Wosochlo
and a few others i dont know so well.
Tuesday, September 04, 2001
Thursday, August 30, 2001
Jet-Skiing
Had fun yesterday with Paul & Valarie Moyer, My Mom, My Sister and UF. Paul & Valarie invited all of us to Blue Marsh to ride their Jet Ski. It Started with Breanne and Valarie riding the Jet-Ski, me and UF walked along the pebble beach, skipping stones. We talked a little remembering the old days. Talked about life, school, etc. I think I finaly relized when i talked to her that i would like to spend time with her, but at the same time its obvious that we arent right for each other. I am pretty much back to my old feelings. I only love her as a freind, and a sister.
Monday, August 27, 2001
First Day of My Senior Year!
Well, Its here, I was hoping for no math, but Guess what, I'm stuck with Trig/Precalc.
I will be rejoining SchuylkillBotics this year. This time as Web designer, and as a sponsorship coordinator.
I received lots of paperwork for my mom to sign, and I also Know few ppl at tech this year, most of my friends graduated last year.
I will be rejoining SchuylkillBotics this year. This time as Web designer, and as a sponsorship coordinator.
I received lots of paperwork for my mom to sign, and I also Know few ppl at tech this year, most of my friends graduated last year.
Last night!
I had the hardest time sleeping, I went to bed at a little after 9 last night, and 5 hours later, I was up, and I was up for 3 hours just lying in my bed trying to get back to sleep, but I woke up crying, I don't even know what I was dreaming about when I woke up, I'm guessing it had to do with UF or My ex-best friend.
Sunday, August 26, 2001
Today
Well this morning at the meeting, UF was sitting with a visiting child and a child from the area. She didn't pay attention much during the entire meeting, all she did was play hangman with the kids. Later halfway through the Watchtower Study, she answered, only paragraph that she was actually semi-paying attention. But that was also the paragraph my sister was ready to comment. When the brother who was conducting picked UF instead of my sister, It upset her, my sister is rarely called on by the brothers, and UF is almost always called. I don't get it.
after the meeting she told my sister if we need a ride to the softball game that was being held later, she would give us a ride. My sister did call, and she left a message on her machine, UF never went home to get the message, she was gone all day, and picked up two of her other friends, and ignored us.
I got a ride with another friend, My sister still wanted to go, but she didn't really want to go in my friends truck, especially since other than me and him there were two other guys in the truck.
I got to the game, there was UF, she never even asked me about my sister, actually she barely even talked to me. only time she did was when I tossed my glove at her, and it hit her on top of her head. She had a comeback "After all those times I have given you a ride to the pool." She was joking, but I had to continue bothering her.
Then me and my friends left, we took of, UF was right behind us in her car. my friend has a little bit of a tendency to go a little fast, he was flying down the road, and Behind us was UF the entire way, we got up to 80 in his truck, but UF, continued following fast,
I was a little frightened by the whole ordeal, cause I kept thinking about what might happen if either made a wrong move, or ended up hitting another car. she was so close, if we stopped, she would have plowed into us, and I don't know If I was still here What I would do, with me, and 2 of my best friends, and 3 other friends, anyone of us could have been seriously injured. I just don't know.
after the meeting she told my sister if we need a ride to the softball game that was being held later, she would give us a ride. My sister did call, and she left a message on her machine, UF never went home to get the message, she was gone all day, and picked up two of her other friends, and ignored us.
I got a ride with another friend, My sister still wanted to go, but she didn't really want to go in my friends truck, especially since other than me and him there were two other guys in the truck.
I got to the game, there was UF, she never even asked me about my sister, actually she barely even talked to me. only time she did was when I tossed my glove at her, and it hit her on top of her head. She had a comeback "After all those times I have given you a ride to the pool." She was joking, but I had to continue bothering her.
Then me and my friends left, we took of, UF was right behind us in her car. my friend has a little bit of a tendency to go a little fast, he was flying down the road, and Behind us was UF the entire way, we got up to 80 in his truck, but UF, continued following fast,
I was a little frightened by the whole ordeal, cause I kept thinking about what might happen if either made a wrong move, or ended up hitting another car. she was so close, if we stopped, she would have plowed into us, and I don't know If I was still here What I would do, with me, and 2 of my best friends, and 3 other friends, anyone of us could have been seriously injured. I just don't know.
Friday, August 24, 2001
Guess who called and stopped by today?
When I was on the net, The Unnamed Female called and left a Message asking if me and my sister wanted to come over to study the Watchtower (a magazine we prepare so we can comment on it when we go over it at a meeting at the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses)
I was the only one home, By the time I could call her back, she had already left her house, I talked to her mom, and told her mom that I wouldn't be able to come over to study. Her mom told me The Unnamed Female (From now on she will be referred to as UF) was on her way.
She stopped by and when I told her I was the only one home, she asked if I wanted to come, I told her I had to deliver my papers soon. this was at 1:00 PM. the papers usually get here around 1:30, there still not here right now. She practically begged me to come, saying "You don't have to deliver right away do you?", she leaned up against the door and looked very disappointed. I told her I was sorry, I would have loved to come, but I do have a job to do. The other reasons why I wouldn't go, I didn't want to tell her.
1. I know if my sister would have found out I went with her, She would be upset and think it wasn't right.
2. I am trying to distance my self from her for a while. I don't want my feelings for her to increase.
I don't know what I should have done, should have I went with her. I think I made the best decision. Also what was the reason for her disappointment, and why did she seem to beg me to come with her?
Oh well I guess I wont know, and frankly I don't know if I want to know.
I was the only one home, By the time I could call her back, she had already left her house, I talked to her mom, and told her mom that I wouldn't be able to come over to study. Her mom told me The Unnamed Female (From now on she will be referred to as UF) was on her way.
She stopped by and when I told her I was the only one home, she asked if I wanted to come, I told her I had to deliver my papers soon. this was at 1:00 PM. the papers usually get here around 1:30, there still not here right now. She practically begged me to come, saying "You don't have to deliver right away do you?", she leaned up against the door and looked very disappointed. I told her I was sorry, I would have loved to come, but I do have a job to do. The other reasons why I wouldn't go, I didn't want to tell her.
1. I know if my sister would have found out I went with her, She would be upset and think it wasn't right.
2. I am trying to distance my self from her for a while. I don't want my feelings for her to increase.
I don't know what I should have done, should have I went with her. I think I made the best decision. Also what was the reason for her disappointment, and why did she seem to beg me to come with her?
Oh well I guess I wont know, and frankly I don't know if I want to know.
Thursday, August 23, 2001
Friendship Lost.
Well, I found out on Monday, that One of my friends is basically ending his friendship with me. I have cared a lot for this friend, and I don't know how I feel about this. He says he might be back to be my friend at a later date, but now its for certain hes terminating our association. But I guess its for the better (The better for me, not him.)
I sincerely hope he will be back, He had a few problems, many of which I'm not free to talk about. That makes things hard, cause he threw all these burdens upon me, and now I cant really talk to many people about them. Because they are so personal. I don't want to tell many people either, cause I don't want people to not like him because of what hes done, and may still be doing.
I sincerely hope he will be back, He had a few problems, many of which I'm not free to talk about. That makes things hard, cause he threw all these burdens upon me, and now I cant really talk to many people about them. Because they are so personal. I don't want to tell many people either, cause I don't want people to not like him because of what hes done, and may still be doing.
Tuesday, August 21, 2001
What I see in my mind.
I know Even though I haven't had my heart broken, Its being torn in several directions between the different paths my mind has set before me, and what my heart feels.
I can see hundreds of possible situations, I just don't know which would be best for the Unnamed Female, or Me. I'm still running all the possibilities through, I've seen possibilities a person like me shouldn't even think about, Things like if something happened to her parents, where would she go, would she end up here, because my family might take her in until she feels better, or at least good enough to be on her own, If that happens, I will see her much more, My feelings for her will probably increase, her feelings for me, if any, will probably increase too, then from that path theres like 2 or 3 more paths.
Does anyone think I think to much? I'm not even trying to dwell on such things, but every time I close my eyes, Hell not an hour goes by where I don't think of her at least 30 times, Its not that I really think of her, Just in my mind Shes always there.
I've seen many possible paths in my mind, I don't think of them, They just are there, almost as if my mind can see into several possible alternate universes, with out even trying. I'm telling you right, now I don't feel that a person should be able to see some of the things I see. I can see Possible futures eons away, I can see the short term possibilities, and the long term, as in after Armageddon, several thousand years after Armageddon!
I can literally see me there, with the Unnamed Female at my side, my arm around her, hers around me. Standing on the porch of the house we built together, looking at the Lions, Bears, Tigers, Deer, and other animals living together in peace. Then one of our 2 kids, the youngest runs out and pets the lion, and hops on the back of a Siberian Tiger.
I know some of you feel that would be an impossibility, a Utopian Society, But I sincerely believe it will be here, because God promised it would. I cant wait.
I can see us there, we look about 30, but I know were a few thousand years old.
I can see hundreds of possible situations, I just don't know which would be best for the Unnamed Female, or Me. I'm still running all the possibilities through, I've seen possibilities a person like me shouldn't even think about, Things like if something happened to her parents, where would she go, would she end up here, because my family might take her in until she feels better, or at least good enough to be on her own, If that happens, I will see her much more, My feelings for her will probably increase, her feelings for me, if any, will probably increase too, then from that path theres like 2 or 3 more paths.
Does anyone think I think to much? I'm not even trying to dwell on such things, but every time I close my eyes, Hell not an hour goes by where I don't think of her at least 30 times, Its not that I really think of her, Just in my mind Shes always there.
I've seen many possible paths in my mind, I don't think of them, They just are there, almost as if my mind can see into several possible alternate universes, with out even trying. I'm telling you right, now I don't feel that a person should be able to see some of the things I see. I can see Possible futures eons away, I can see the short term possibilities, and the long term, as in after Armageddon, several thousand years after Armageddon!
I can literally see me there, with the Unnamed Female at my side, my arm around her, hers around me. Standing on the porch of the house we built together, looking at the Lions, Bears, Tigers, Deer, and other animals living together in peace. Then one of our 2 kids, the youngest runs out and pets the lion, and hops on the back of a Siberian Tiger.
I know some of you feel that would be an impossibility, a Utopian Society, But I sincerely believe it will be here, because God promised it would. I cant wait.
I can see us there, we look about 30, but I know were a few thousand years old.
Thursday, August 16, 2001
PSX Part.
Well my mom ordered the part for my PlayStation that was busted today, hope to receive it soon. Its been a long time since I've played it all my games will be new to me again. Yay! actually that's probably not a reality heh. but I wonder when It will come in?
Saturday, July 21, 2001
Yesterday.
Yesterday I spent the most the day with my sister, the "Unnamed Female", and her parents. We went to a local amusement park. I had fun for the most part me, my sister and the Unnamed Female spent the entire time together while her parents sat around and watched people. We went on the Phoenix (a Wooden Roller coaster), the Twister (another wooden Roller coaster), the Skloosh (a Boat ride that Soaks you with a Huge wall of Water, also the only ride I sat with the "Unnamed Girl" most I went alone on), the Cosmotron (A ride that goes both forward and backwards in a circle, it is a laser light show, with strobes, fog, and good loud music (Dragula by Rob Zombie played this time)), one of the two carousels twice (It has rings you can collect then throw in a hole for fun. the Unnamed girl wanted to keep her rings, but this time she felt as if she had to listen and throw them back at the end.), we also went on the Italian Trapeze, Haunted House, and the Bumper Cars, They went on more but I couldn't handle a lot of them.
I did fine with not thinking too much about the Unnamed Girl, But on the way home from the park, her dad turned the radio to an oldies station, and a song that says "Girl, you're too young" came on, I didn't hear the you're any time it said it, I heard WE'RE instead of YOU'RE. Then her dad said that song is her theme. That really helped! After that I couldn't stop thinking of her! Glad she was in the back seat and I sat up front. I don't know how I would have felt sitting next to her when that came on.
Well a little later we had pizza, after pizza we went to their house briefly then her and her dad dropped me and my sis off at our house. What a day, 8 hours with the unnamed girl. and I only thought about her for an hour! I think I did decent yesterday.
I did fine with not thinking too much about the Unnamed Girl, But on the way home from the park, her dad turned the radio to an oldies station, and a song that says "Girl, you're too young" came on, I didn't hear the you're any time it said it, I heard WE'RE instead of YOU'RE. Then her dad said that song is her theme. That really helped! After that I couldn't stop thinking of her! Glad she was in the back seat and I sat up front. I don't know how I would have felt sitting next to her when that came on.
Well a little later we had pizza, after pizza we went to their house briefly then her and her dad dropped me and my sis off at our house. What a day, 8 hours with the unnamed girl. and I only thought about her for an hour! I think I did decent yesterday.
Wednesday, July 18, 2001
Yikes!!
I cant beleive im falling for this girl. Shes always on my mind, and we are all over each other when we go to the public pool. (Just glad neither of us have private pools! Dont want to think what might happen) I mean I have accedently touched areas on her body when wrestling with her that i have no right to touch, Im not the kind of guy who beleives in casual sex or the touching of someone in certain areas just to have fun, those areas are to be seen and touched by the person, and there spouse thats it! I cant beleive I have done so much with her. I mean come on I've even been on what some people might call a date, me and her went to the public pool by ourselves unsupervised, usually when I go with her, we go with my sister, but at that time, I was just starting to fall for her... it took me a while. but now I know ive fallen head over heels for her. Im not a violent person but when someone said something mean to her, I honestly felt like i could turn the person inside out to the point his own mother coulndt recognize him. other than my family she is the only other person i would do that for...
well i might do that for some of my past crushes but its doubtfull considering my past crushes could all beat me up with out even trying.
well i might do that for some of my past crushes but its doubtfull considering my past crushes could all beat me up with out even trying.
Tuesday, July 17, 2001
What a time I've had lately!
Well very few of my friends know Ive been going through alot lately. (If you don't know then I'm not able to tell you.) I have heard stuff that I really shouldn't know, but oh well whats done is done, and I cant do anything about it. I will probobly hear more, and I will listen.
I have noticed lately that my mood has been reflecting what music ive listened to.
When Im...
really upset and depressed its Metallica.
happy, a joy to be around its Classical or Kingdom Melodies (Religious Music)
happy, a joy to be around, (but thinking alot about Relationships, Marriage, and an unnamed Female) then its Pink, Queen, Ace of Base, R. Kelly, Tank, and various music having to do with love.
I have noticed lately that my mood has been reflecting what music ive listened to.
When Im...
really upset and depressed its Metallica.
happy, a joy to be around its Classical or Kingdom Melodies (Religious Music)
happy, a joy to be around, (but thinking alot about Relationships, Marriage, and an unnamed Female) then its Pink, Queen, Ace of Base, R. Kelly, Tank, and various music having to do with love.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)